A calling to a landing.
A sail to anchor.
A journey to wholeness.
Home at the turn of adventure.
Reborn to the land. Reborn to Earth.
I landed back home a few days ago, after a month on the road, after life changing journeys off the beaten track of the soul and on the paths of the physical world. Everything is the same, everything is different. I entered a personal new timeline and for once, in years of travels and returns, the world seems to have followed suit, unapologetic in its changes and goings, blatantly showing off the speed at which it’s evolving. New shops, constructions works in the streets, flowers and grass plentiful on the hills, the disappearance of a favourite vegan pastry and so much more that I don’t see or havent’ yet marked. I wonder if I notice it more, now that I live on Earth.
I’ve always been a seeker, of answers, of meaning, of wonder. I could never sit still in the midst of possibilities, of a life to be experienced, of understanding to ponder, on the ultimate quest of life, love, being and becoming. I travelled, I read, I learned, I healed, I encountered and always, I kept on seeking. And all along, I was seeking myself and the materiality, the reality of the world around me.
In the past six months, in my shamanic practitioner apprenticeship, I have received countless answers, metaphors, enigmas, healings and wonders. I have also received two soul retrievals, to bring back soul parts of myself that were lost to trauma many moons ago. They came back and I was forever changed. They came back and I was finally home. They came back and I finally understood and integrated wholeness. They came back and after years of floating and seeking, I landed.
Although I had done much work and healing on myself for the past five years, and despite the self-awareness I had of traumas and the dissociation that came with it, I could never fully grasp what it meant to be whole, what it meant to be on Earth, what it meant to experience both the physical world and the non-physical world in harmony and peace, until my body felt it deep from within.
After decades in the stars and the sky, after years of calling in other worlds and dimensions, after millions of hours rather spent out there, lost in imagination and the ethers, after wishing, hoping, wanting to be on another planet, somewhere in the universe and calling in a home that felt afar, I landed. My soul parts landed. And my home was truly within.
Until then, I never fully comprehended the joys of being in a human body, the pleasures of the physical world, when I could instead play in other realities and worlds, much faster, with much more ease and perfection. And then, I landed. The colours were brighter. The world was fuller. My purpose was clearer. Love was electric, everything. The physical world was calling and I was finally happy, content, fully present in my body, heart and soul, dancing in both realms, as we were always meant to be, humans and souls as bridges, portals to multidimensionality.
This is where my journey has taken me. Where it’s ending and recommencing. Learning how to be in this world. Loving to be in it. Remembering that my vessel has always been a human body and that for now, my place is here and now. There will be more learnings, more initiations, more landings and take-offs. In time. And until then, I’m landing, reconstructing, rearranging a life around the fullness and wholeness of who I am, who I was always meant to be.
Seeking served its mission. And now, I’m receiving, standing still in the flow of life and discovering that receiving can become a new way of being, in the midst of landing. From seeking to receiving, from expecting to surrendering, from hope to faith. There will always be more answers and questions to be found, more stirring and dancing in the depths of our beings and souls. And there comes a time, when the soul is whole, when the soul is home, when seeking, digging, stirring the pot of our stories and traumas, seeking healing and truths falls flat in the echo of the void. Then comes a time for life to unfold, for storytelling to unravel and for the past, present and future excavations to be laid to rest.
It’s time for landing and flying.
It took me five years of conscious introspection, excavation, exploration and seeking to get there, to find the ultimate answer, feeling, I was looking for, a home in myself. It’s both short and long. And now, it’s time for me to close a chapter, to reconstruct a life fit for the wholeness that I am, for the oneness that we are, to share healings and teachings, to start flying from a safe and grounded landing, and not from frenetic and angsty seeking and floating energy.
So many parts of my life have already shifted and are shifting. It’s all new and it’s a soft and easy landing. A welcome home I had dreamed off when I was coming back from months of travels, from years on the road, from shores of sadness and loneliness. I live, love, play, breathe differently. I sing and I drum. I don’t read the same books or am interested in the same content. I’m stepping away from toxic patterns with ease. Big fears and limiting beliefs are dissolving. I’m learning to be a better human, friend, lover, sister, daughter… My writing is shifting too, stepping away from seeking and I look forward to discover it with you here and in my work.
I have landed home and it’s indescribable. I hope one day, if you’re seeking it, if you feel the calling, that you can land too and welcome Earth as our most beautiful home and find yourself whole. And until then, as always, feel free to write to me, here or on Instagram.
When I journey beyond, I now know, I always have myself, my body and my whole soul, to come home to.
A landing to answer a call.
A calling to finally land.
Home. Whole. One.