Trusting the One Thing

Opening to being supported by our art

A couple of weeks ago, I hit a wall in bouldering.

Your life is a mirror of your path

I’ve been a beginner boulderer for about a year now, fumbling my way through it - as a 3-5 in Human Design would do - challenging myself at times to get stronger, mostly staying at the same level, with “good” sessions and “bad” ones, enjoying where I’m at every time, often in complete surrendering to unstriving. There is a sense of humbling gratitude and teachings in that state, learning to appreciate where we are, for the thing to unfold at its natural pace and progress, without focusing on where we’re going. In sports and in art, I know progress takes time, practice, devotion and an ounce of talent.

I’m bouldering for fun, not expecting to ever climb mountains. And yet, everything in our lives can act as a mirror to our path, to what we are learning in life, when we open our eyes and heart to ongoing and unfolding lessons. There I was, hanging on the wall, not higher than any previous time, but stuck for the second time on one specific orange course (before that, there are grey and green courses), not because of its difficulty, but as I was coming to understand, for my fear. The foothold I was meant to step onto to reach the top was wide and easy to jump on, and the handholds were just as easy. I had made it so far, but I couldn’t go further, spooking myself. Coming down, I knew what was blocking me: to finish, both my feet would have to be firmly set on this one and wide foothold, this only one hold and that was terrifying. What if it fell? Then, I would stumble straight down to the ground. Whereas if my feet were safely placed on two footholds, in case of danger, I would have a chance to catch myself before the fall.

This was irrational and telling… I was afraid of the “Only One Thing”. I wasn’t able to let myself be supported by only one thing, already making plans in my subconscious to save myself, on the 0.001%* (*a made-up number) chance I wasn’t safe, and protected by the universe, thinking I was the one who had to have it all under control, and that, in fact, I wasn’t supported. This isn’t a newsletter about bouldering, and this realisation could be applied to other parts of my life, in arts and career.

Looking back, it seems that I’ve always had trouble trusting the one thing, even if I can’t really pinpoint why. I was the kid in school doing all the clubs she could, taking all additional subjects I had the capacity to, if not always for the energy. My first go at Uni, I did two Masters in my final year, and the second time, I was doing a coaching certification at the same time. My first job saw me start a book blog simultaneously, with countless partnerships with publishing houses and long hours of reading and writing, and while the week I started my second job, I also started my travel blog, working and writing on it every night, the very one which would then become my job… but, while I was leading one of the top French travel blog, I was also of course travelling full-time, house and petsitting, being a Pinterest speaker and consultant and doing freelance translation on the side. And since my burnout from all of this, there has always been… writing AND other creative coaching projects on the side. There has never been just the one thing. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with that if you’re a multi-passionate person, like I am, and if you believe that everything communicates and fuels each other, it’s time for me, and perhaps for you too, to interrogate the fear of the “only one thing”, this incapacity to feel safe and supported by one thing, to trust that it can work and happen and that’s it’s entirely reasonable to put one’s full energy, trust, faith and self-confidence, in the one thing we desire to embody so much.

Maybe, most probably, I was told, or understood, that the arts were not a safe, reasonable career option, and that you always had to have a back-up plan. Perhaps, despite all my self-proclaimed confidence and faith, there are still underlying limited beliefs to uncover and discover, and self-sabotage patterns to unfold. And of course, if I’m interested in different things,, if I have the emotional capacity, energy, time, space, knowledge and ideas, shouldn’t I do it all at once, simply because I can?

But what if we stay stuck in that middle section of the wall, one foot on a big platform, one foot on the next, unable to choose, to let go of one, for fear that when we reach higher, we will never make it?

When we become aware of such a pattern, in one area of our life, be it meaningful or meaningless, I invite you to see how you reproduce it in all areas of your life, and how shifting it in one field, can help you shift it in the others, at the same time or consequently. For me, it was time to learn to let go of one foothold, to move forward to the big foothold, to climb the wall, to let go of my safety blanket and fears, and to finally put all my energy in the one thing.

What about you? Do you trust the one thing? Or do you scatter yourself, to not take responsibility for your choices, your successes and failures? If it’s your only life, or the only one you’ll remember, why would you waste it in doing something that is not yours, in following someone’s else path or expectations and not go for the one thing that has always been yours and has been waiting for you to show up?

Letting go of everything, but the one thing

I’ve been writing this novel for two years and a half, while doing plenty of other things on the side: writing my first book, writing poetry, writing this newsletter, launching a coaching business and closing it, being initiated into shamanism and holding healing ceremonies for other artists, travelling to Canada, and other small projects here and there… The novel never started as my main thing. It was, as most things I start before trusting them, something I was trying, for fun, to see if it would go somewhere, if the story would lead anywhere, if I have was able to pull it off, if I would make a thing, always unsure, always putting “warnings” around, for fear of the other shoe to drop, in the end. Slowly, as months went by, as I was writing, the novel took more space in my life, it took its space, and it became a real thing I wanted to finish, a mountain I was eager to climb. As I approach the finish line, as I struggle to find the energy I used to have to do all the things, while editing the novel, I know, I have known for a while that it has to become, to be the One Thing, the only thing into which I have to put all my energy… ; to finally trust being the writer, the artist, and this long-term project I have embarked upon a couple of years ago.

What is your one thing? The thing you are shying away from, that you are not fully trusting, embracing, letting yourself supported by? What if what’s missing, the reason it’s not fully working yet is that you haven’t trusted fully the one thing, you haven’t devoted entirely to it, you haven’t trusted the long game, you haven’t consistently and patiently opened up to and showed up for that thing. What if what’s missing is your open trust, faith, curiosity and devotion, without expectations? Just as you might do when being in a relationship, as you might do when moving to a new place and deciding to stay…

For months now, I’ve been organising, I’ve been restructuring, I’ve been releasing, cleansing, detoxing, letting go, making space. Emptying my e-mailbox, sorting out administrative stuff that had been left hanging, organising my home, routines, clothes, health appointments, my social media from my past freelance career, rebuilding the website, sorting my past coaching classes, on and on, and on, and on. Until there was nothing left, but creating and rebuilding.

We can, and will always find something else to do, a way to add complexity or distractions in our lives and our job, to not have to make space, to be fully in the one thing that has been calling us. So this summer, I’ve been taking intentional steps to pour most of my energy into my art, because that’s what’s been alive in me at this time, all the while trusting and balancing it with my healing calling and the space I hold for clients and ceremonies. For me, that means stepping back from a few calls, removing Instagram and Threads from my phone, making more space and time for writing, rest and creative play, to refuel and be present to the art. This newsletter might keep on flowing or take a break. It might mean something else for you. I know that I’ll have to be mindful of not filling every crack of time with doing, because the writing, outside writing hours, needs space to breathe.

Are you ready to focus on your one thing?
Here is a quiet co-editing session, to focus together on our one thing:

Seasonal waves and tides

That doesn’t mean this is forever. That doesn’t mean I won’t do anything else on the side, when it flows. It simply means that I choose to intentionally focus on my novel and that I won’t fill the space remaining with “busy work”. I can’t write and edit 5 days a week, 6 hours a day. It’s too draining and my brain loves to feed on different things and play creatively. But that means, that I don’t have to do anything else this summer, but trust my novel, my art, my inner artist, what I have already done, and where it will lead me next. That means to allow for rest, for creative space, for play and for letting the undercurrent and flow of work and foundations happen naturally, incrementally, without forcing, knowing it will lead us where we want and need to be.

Learning how to be a wave in the flow of time and creation:

The Full Moon in Capricorn on Sunday helped me reassess and anchor this knowing. To accept a change of old habits, to let go of expired safety blankets, to open to a new way of being, one where I can trust the one thing, one where I can trust myself, the people supporting me, the universe, and my art, one where I am open, curious, devoted, and feels supported in what calls me and fuel me.

I went back bouldering yesterday. As I put on my climbing shoes, I realised that I had outgrown my old ways of being and that I had built strong enough foundations, support, confidence, healing, strength and skills to move forward. I approached the wall with a sense of confidence, stillness and play, unstriving, I had never held before. As I approached the beast from a couple of weeks ago, I was scared that I couldn’t do it. In the middle, hesitant, I asked my partner if he could help me go down afterwards. He was there, cheering me on. I put my two feet on the one wide foothold. I finished the course. I had been scared, but it was easier than expected. I managed to come down easily. The blocks were all in my head and I could do it. I could trust the one thing. And perhaps, one day, I’ll climb mountains…

I’m away from Instagram for the time being, and might or might not take a break from here until the fall. We will see how it flows, in trust and patience. These days, you can find me on Youtube, where I post new content regularly.

And soon, a novel…

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As I wrap up the ceremonial section of our ARTemis program with one beautiful and gentle artist, I’m ready to welcome a new artist or emerging artist to embark on their journey of healing, revelation and reclamation, online or in Edinburgh. It would be an honour to hold you in ceremony and in light in your art, and perhaps to help you trust your one thing too. You can learn more and contact me here.

With love and gratitude, I look forward, as always, to see the path unfold,

xx

Lucie